Let me say that I do consider myself a good person. I am completely aware that I am not perfect, and please note I have never claimed to be that. I have done some really stupid things in life, but I have learned from them and use it to make myself better and grow. I also consider myself a Christian. I cannot toss out bible quotes on cue, I do enjoy my curse words, and I sometimes speak before I think, but I also feel as though God is my homeboy and we have a very cool relationship- so there. Now, while I state all of this, I also think "good people" are entitled to be pissed off at times—let’s be honest, people who are always “perfect”; well they are full of shit. I will not bite my tongue unless it means I will be kept out of the back of a police car, so if you hurt me or my family, take a strike against someone I care about, or jeopardize my family's stability, I will sprout horns and be ready to strike. Case in point- one person in particular is the reason (ok, main reason) I have to color my hair. Someone else works themselves like a dog, misses out on time with loved ones, makes those needs a priority over their needs because they are hopeful they will get what has been owed to them, many times gets the cold shoulder for those times kept away, and seems to make sure this person can keep their head above water…or on the water (you know what I mean, jackhole). Now, my loved one is not in the clear, but don’t I have to be supportive? How many times can I keep fighting this fight before I end up in the back of that patrol car? When can I just walk up and kick this person in the balls? Yes, that is what I want to do---kick hard and more than once. I don’t need to say anything to this person. They are aware of the situation, although I do not believe they lose sleep over it at night like I do, but why can’t I just walk up, say “hey” and nail them one (or, 10) time? Why can this person continue to do what they do and not have something (or someone) ring their bell? Why can I not be the bellringer? Why, oh why, cannot I just kick them in the balls?
I do not wish anything bad on this other person. I actually can sympathize with this person. I do not hate them and do not wish harm. While not being able to pee standing up for a week or two isn’t necessarily a “good” thing, I just want a way to get the important point across. I just want them to acknowledge how crappy things are and their role in it. If they would just tell—tell me—“you know, I am truly sorry, I will work to make it right, or we will do something else” my desire to nail ‘em in the nads would start to fade away…well, after I get my good kick in. I guess I need to go to church and pray. I pray I will resist the urge to dwell on this. I pray I will be able to let it go another day. I pray that I will not have to see my hairdresser earlier than planned. And I pray that a resonable solution finds its way soon.
I also pray that I can just get one good kick...c'mon, one good kick... in before all is said and done.
No comments:
Post a Comment