Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Well, hello again...

Apparently my posts come around like presidential elections- not frequent enough. :)  Please note that is/was/will be THE ONLY thing "political" mentioned in this post.  I've realized I have not blogged in a while, and have been neglectful to my (hmmm, maybe 2 followers?), so I want to take a moment to throw some shit on the table.

Life is good.  Got a little 'stuck' in a rut (it happens) but back on the kick-ass wagon.  The babies are good and after a 4-day hospital stay with the little-little one, we are pleased to report she is back 100%.  I hope we NEVER have to go through that again- or any parent for that matter.  All I can say is we are beyond blessed to have a wonderful pediatrician and healthcare facilities in this town.  I never wanted to see the new addition to the hospital as a patient (well, mother of one) but it is amazing and they treated us like rock stars.  Big sister is still sassy as ever and is doing great.  She got her first official report card for school and I only hope she continues to get "makes us laugh and smile daily" as the remark from her teachers every year- love it!

The animals are well. Well, not all that well, but well.  Our beloved Genga (aka: Wonder Dog) received a horrendous diagnosis back in September.  OH...please note, she is still with us!  Wow, that sounded bad.  I do not know if you have ever heard of megaesophagus, but it SUCKS.  She has it, there is no cure, and we can only provide special lifestyle accomodations to keep her fed.  She eats like a human now and we are just taking it day by day.  I love her with all of my heart so we are keeping the faith and just being extra grateful for each day we have her.

Well, I hate to end it on a somber note (megaE+ Wonderdog= somber note) but I must jet off to another exciting adventure.

To try to get back on track and keep people intrigued, I am listing a few topics/stories that will make the blog soon:

- Trick-o'-treat stressors
- Adult costumes
- Dierks Bently 911 vs. 5150 song confusion in children
- Speeding ticket (witness, not violator)
-  Yankees

Love to all!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Feelings...

This pretty much describes the feelings I have towards numerous people today...


That is all for this morning.

Toodles!

Monday, August 20, 2012

Put me out to pasture

Learned this morning...

1- I am too old to go down the 40ft water slide
2- I am too out of shape
3- I need to actually use my jogging stroller for jogging


Some of our most favorite-ist (yea, its a word...or should be) people hosted a party for their son's big day.  They rented one of those massive inflatable water slides and Caroline had a blast the entire party sliding down that thing at mach1.  Well, when you rent one, you get it for the entire weekend.  So, we (mainly Jay did the inviting) were invited back Sunday to cook out and use the slide.  This time (since it is just us) I bring out the old swimsuit and plan on sliding with Caroline.  O...M...G!  First, that thing was pretty high.  Second, I know the bigger one is, the faster they go, but holy %^&%! I shot down that thing like a bullet and am surprised my big arse didn't bust through the bottom pool/retaining pond/limb collector.  WOOHOO- the first one was done and I had to go again.  Feeling like a 10 year old (while looking like an 80 year old) I went back over and over (and over...) for my thrills.  The last time I went down I must have (as my non-limber body contorted in ways it never has) slid by - and against- the velcro union that holds together certain pieces of the slide...yep, burned the snot out of my wrist.  Not highlighting that I was wussing out, I also realized I was out of breath and needed to end the embarassment.  I dried off and enjoyed the rest of the time eating, watching the kids and laughing with the cool peeps.

Our mattress sucks, but I woke up this morning hurting like no other and nope, it wasn't that lumpy old serta who was resposible for the pain.  Yes--it was all of my sliding!  I know there have to be bruises working their way up to the surface of my skin, but damn...I am feeling it.  I am taking Wonder Dog out for walks starting...ok, probably not tonight (it is raining), but tomorrow and am going to do something about this.  I have little ones and I am not going to be the mom who cannot climb the slide, jump in the bouncy house, nor kick-ass at any other kid activity- I do them now, but I do not want to be sore for two days afterwards anymore.

So, it took a 40ft waterslide to kick start my fitness-awareness-changes-to -my-current-slacker-ways.

Woohoo!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Thank you TLC, the end is near....

Apparently, the end is near. Last night, I found myself sitting in the big chair watching Honey Boo Boo on TLC and realizing that I have lost valued time in my life. Holy freaking h%ll!  It was an hour of my life that I will never get back, but it was one that was very enlightening and made me ask myself a few questions.  Questions, of course, that I would like to share with all.

1- What the %^&@ is wrong with TLC?  Didn't it use to stand for the 'learning' channel?

2- Why did these %^&%ers have to be from Georgia?

3- How close can one's house get to the actual train track?

4- Did anyone else know they have junk food auctions?

5- If yes, where the hell are they located besides boondock, GA, USA?

6- Why can't there be fruit and vegetable auctions?  Where are those jokers held?

7-  Who the hell is Miss Muricka (murrr- reee- ka) as Honey/Papa Bear pointed out?

8- Did the law not do the math on these peoples ages?  Kids; 17 (and on her third trimester of her pregnancy), 15, 12, 6....Mom 32.... Dad, 40. So, Mom had first child at 15 when dad was...what the &^*#... 23?  



In addition to the questions that I had, I also had a few thoughts and items I would like to share and point out. 

- There was a fabulously placed Dale Earnhart, Sr. photo on the shelves with all of the excessive coupon shopping 'scores' are kept.  Point for the crew keeping it in the shot, loss of point for Dale, Sr.

- That was not a teacup pig.  That bastard is going to be full-sized like our 'little' potbellied beast that became the size of a small foreign car.

- The etiquette coach must have been paid a shitload of cash to do a cameo on this show.

- These people are getting PAID to do this show.

- I will NEVER have a large barrel o' cheese balls in my home or near my children.  If I end pu somewhere that a barrel is present, we shall leave.

- These people are getting PAID to do this show.

- If you speak English, yet have to have subtitles posted for EVERYTHING you say, you should not get your own show nor be paid to do so.

- There are producers getting PAID for this show.

- The Duggars look %^#$ing sane compared to this freak show.

- These people are getting PAID to do this show.

- TLC is a bunch of biggoted a-holes as they worked  (ok, they had some great material) to showcase GA as a backwards ass, bottom of the gene-pool, state.

So, I think I have to sum it up with an 'F-you', TLC.  What used to be the "learning" channel, is now officially the "lowest" point channel. You (TLC) are only holding on by a shred due to What Not To Wear and Say 'Yes' To The Dress.   I think Stacy and Clinton need to flee for their saftey!

Friday, July 6, 2012

From a bad attitude, to gratitude...

So, I have been an angry little one for the past few weeks.  I have SO much to be grateful for, but I have let a bad situation get the best of me and I am working on it---I am a work in progress. So, after my super-angry blog regarding PTC, I thought I would share a blog of appreciation and gratitude. 


I grew up in the thriving metropolis of Atlanta, GA- ATL, holla!  I remember one day I was driving my mom's car home from the store with my sister (she is older so looking back I have no idea why I was driving and not her, but it adds to the story) and I hit a hole in the asphalt.  I blew out the left front tire and came to rest in the turn lane of a somewhat busy intersection.  Not that I am that much of a dinosaur, but teens didn't really have cellphones at their beck and call then- in fact, my dad gave me a CB radio for Christmas one year and said "hit channel 9 for emergency if you breakdown."- so calling dad to rescue us was not an option.  As we are standing there lookin at the car- all while my sister is saying (and laughing at me) "thank God you were driving and not me...dad is going to kill you" -a local police officer pulls up behind us and hits the lights.  I (I have been a smartass for as long as I can remember) said something to the effect of "thank the lord help is here!" and he replies with "um, yea...I am not AAA, junior, I am just here to make sure I do not have to work a wreck because you are in the road and someone will hit you."  Since my dad taught me how to change tires I reply with "yes, sir" and head towards the trunk to get this party started.  My sassy sister apparently worked her charm on the officer and he was kind enough to call my dad to let him know what was going on.  The two of them inform me of dad being on the way and I reply (again, somewhat sassy) with "well, thank God you are here officer Jones as you can protect me from my dad as he is going to kick my ass."  Officer Jones begins to laugh at this point (never once pointing out that I was totally jacking up the jack) and turns out to be the nicest man- but he did not budge from the front of his patrol car...nor did my sister.  My dad showed up, thanked the officer, made me change the tire (helping of course) and then went and talked to Officer Jones for some time.  I remember when we got home I asked my dad why the officer didn't offer to help me.  He replied with the same thing the officer said "Kerri, they are not AAA, his job is not to work on people's cars."  I knew he was right, I was never mad at the officer for not assisting, but this all leads up to what I witnessed in Thomasville (my 'now' hometown) and just how different things can be. 


I was on my way to pick up Caroline the other day and there was a car stalled in a very busy intersection. A local sherrif's deputy had pulled up behind the driver and turned on his lights so people would know to pass and not bottleneck traffic.   There was an exchange between the officer and the driver of the dead car and then, the officer (dressed in a suit as I am assuming he had court that day, or something) went around and pushed the car in 100* plus weather so the person could get safely out of the way. Easily this kind man could have pushed the car with his patrol car, but no, he did it himself.   I was sitting there watching this and thinking of my ATL Officer Jones and the "we aren't AAA" story and just chuckled.  If only people realize how amazingly kind and special this moment was.  So, I would like to give a shout out to the local men and women who keep our fabulous city safe, watch for us, and are kind to the residents.  From this case, to the time an officer took a break from writing a ticket (yes, he was writing the darn ticket) to run over and give Caroline a Halloween goodie bag as we were walking by, to the officers who have helped my family on more than one occasion, and to those who guided us through downed trees and flooded streets to get to our children when we had horrific weather.  Thank you for all that you do.  I will be the first to admit that I am too selfish and wimpy to do what they do, so please do not label me as a kiss-ass, but I am the first to admit that I respect the hell out of them and I wish more people did too.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Hypocrites...

So, I am busier than ever, but something was brought to my attention and I just cannot let it slip by.  Recently, an incident occured which involved people I care for.  While the reason for this incident is BEYOND frustrating, it happened...and no one was hurt. It did not affect anyone else who was willing to mind their own business.  With that said, apparently the 'perfect' person next door took time off from being Jesus' official recording secretary to show her true self and bash the people at the center of the incident.  You ask why I noted her assumed profession, well, it's because her facebook page is plastered with ministry-based quotes, thoughts and supports for others in her church that I figure she must be working for the big man directly.  Now, I know some of her 'church' FB peeps and I am pretty sure they would love to realize that she is only a christian part-time...right? Because if she were a full-time christian, she wouldn't resort to letting all of FB land (luckily, she really has limited friends...reminder- she is an a$$hole) know the traumatic events her neighbors went through all while making fun of it/them, would she?  Where are her neighbors in all of this you may ask, well, they are the kind people who have supported her through her craziness and have not said a word about her situation.


In a completely juvenile way of dealing, this was my facebook posting today. 


"I find it very ironic that one can bash someone via facebook then completely paint themselves as the second coming of Christ with their ministry and faith-related status updates. While I shouldn't judge, I would like to point out that at least the one you bashed has a clinical diagnosis of the reason(s) they struggle- you, well, maybe you should try to practice what you preach...you know, there isn't a pill you can take to make you less of an a$$hole".


The reason I did this, is becuase I saw PTC (part-time christian) post something on a friend of mine's recent photo. I adore this friend and the work they do, but PTC's posting intrigued me.  I took a look into her page. Because I have met PTC before, I was kind of surprised to see her new christ-filled posts and stories- not knocking God, more people need him and more power to them if they have found him- and then I get to the post where PTC throws out the word 'trash' aimed at the neighbors. Let me first tell you something about myself. The people close to me (family and friends) are my blood, I will fight you to the death for them if you attack. Second, I am Italian- it is in my freaking DNA to want to harm you for attacking those I care for.  So, when I see this I get pissed like no other.  Not that my FB posting is going to solve anything, but sometimes it feels good to get things out like that.  I will be the first to admit that my mouth can override myself so I talk a big talk sometimes, but in all sense---I do not want to go to jail so I do not act.  If only I had the balls to back what I think. 




I have never, and never will, paint myself as a perfect person.  I do consider myself a christian, but I am also a realist and I am never one to withhold my opinions.  I own my faults and do not portray myself as a church-going saint.  I am human, I am flawed, I curse too much, I do not pray enough.  I went to parochial school for 6 years and still cannot tell you what books are where in the bible.  I have used the lord's name in vain (I apologize to him A LOT for that) and it would really benefit me to work on my resentment issues...but I am who I am.  I know that none of this makes me a bad person and I know my god does not judge me...but I also know he doesn't turn his back when I judge others- he probably winces though. Feel free to pray for my soul now. 

Friday, June 29, 2012

Starting to wish I was more organized like my dog...

If you had read my blog from the early days, you are well aware that I own Wonder Dog.  And yes, you should be extremely jealous- yep, I went there. Genga is a blessing that we welcomed into our home (and hearts) roughly a year ago- don't think that I didn't acknowledge the true anniversary of the day she arrived. :)   She is very smart and is starting to make me realize that I think she is more 'together' than her humans.  This week has been tough (more so than usual) on me and I think my sweet angel has detected it and is trying to 'help' around the house...yes, I just stated that I think my dog, is 'helping' around the house.  This was my facebook post yesterday-

     "If Genga was a mother I can now conclude that she would not support the Ferber method for 
      her baby. Samantha did not even cry for 30 seconds this morning before I took a paw to the face
     for not shooting out of bed right away."

I have not been sleeping well and have fallen asleep (more like passed the %*^% out) reading to Caroline the past few nights.  I wake up at 3:00am (courtesy of Genga coming in to check on me) and then get to my own bed.  The same thing happened last night and my sweet canine child escorted me to my room yet again.  This morning, apparently I hit snooze one too many times so on the 3rd (I did the math) alert, I rolled over to hit the damn button and am greeted with her massive head waiting for me on the pillow.  1- it scared the bejeebus out of me, 2- I was awake...so point there for the pup, and 3- that freaking dog kept me on time for work!

She sat with Samantha while Caroline helped feed the last of her bottle so I could run around the house and get the last minute items together...if Genga wasn't there, Caroline would not have been so inclined to 'feed' her sister as long as she did.  Then it hit me (well, after she 'hit' me to wake up the baby and get me up this morning)...my dog is more freaking organized and together than I am!

So, with this said, here is my mantra: "I only hope to be as put together of a bitch as my dog is."