I had a regular follow-up appointment with my OB yesterday to check in on Baby Knight #2 (another girl, by the way). I absolutely ADORE my doctor and his practice and enjoy my visits...well, until yesterday. I try not to judge, but there are some patients seen there that make me wonder why some women have the mass-ability to procreate and others struggle their entire lives. I showed up to my appointment, signed in, and gladly took my seat in the waiting room. The room was somewhat busy for a Monday, but there were two women who stood out. Not by how they looked, but by how freaking loud and open they were with their conversations (ok, really just one of them dominated the show). The "louder" woman appeared younger than me (ok, really...Kerri "advanced maternal age" Knight...everyone is younger) and had very healthy lungs as made evident by her over-the-top tone. She also apparently had a very healthy uterus as I was about to learn. She was talking to the other woman about her kids. She stated (and I quote...and will spell it just as she said it) "I used to love babies, but once I started having thum, I donst likes them anymore." I sat there, in shock, staring at this person. When the other woman asked her how many she had, Ms. Uterus replied with "well, this is my fourth...but they just make too much noise and I tell my husband all the time I just need a break." It took all I had to say "well, why don't you tell your husband to wrap it up, or back the hell off" but I just continued to sit there in shock. Ms. Uterus (let's face it, I cannot call her anything but at this stage) sat there and took what should be an extremely blessed time in one's life and made it sound as though she was talking about a litter of puppies. I could feel my blood pressure rise as the conversation went on...and on. She finally got called back, the other woman left (apparently the baby she was holding was actually her grandchild...yes, she was about my age as well) and I was left there to reel in the moments I had just witnessed. I went on to my appointment, got a big hug and congrats from my doctor with this line thrown in as well- "the fact that you are 23 weeks and we have a healthy baby doing so well is just a miracle. I am just so happy for you, Kerri." And there it was--true concern and happiness that some of us patients are really glad to be expanding our families. With all that we had gone through --which I know others had gone through more and much worse--it is still just a miracle that we are here...with a new one on the way...growing inside...and totally kicking ass (seriously, I think we have a ninja on our hands here). So, as I left my appointment- after taking care of my account with the insurance I pay for (sorry, had to go there)- it hit me...Why are some people allowed to pop out kids they do not even seem to be excited about, when others who are desperate to have them, have to go through so much to do so? I cannot answer that, nor will I judge God on his plan. I can say that it enfuriates me that a woman can be on her fourth child and feel so inconvienced by the "noise" yet she keeps on having them. I welcome the noise in my house, bitch. I cannot wait for nights interrupted by hungry cries, a small human being that my husband and I created who needs me, and having to change poopie diapers. I look forward to my other daughter being a big sister who is just as excited--and has prayed for over a year now--for this to be happening for us also. I guess I will add you to my prayer list as well, Ms. Uterus. I pray that you will not take for granted your ability to mass produce unsuspecting "noise-makers" and I pray they will know that you should not be "irritated" by their cries. I pray you "get it" one day and realize where they come from and stop having them if you are so put out by them. I pray that you will NEVER know what it feels like to not experience going full-term with a healthy child and I pray you get bitch-slapped...ok, that last one I am just kidding about..kinda :)
I don't know. I really wonder about the future and I really wonder about where peoples heads or at--I think some of them should worry where their ankles are.
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