1 year difference

I just "found" this and realize that I didn't publish it like I had wanted to.  I was supposed to publish it on December 22,2011 So, without future adieu...

There is no doubt that we have had our fair share of family-addition related struggles.  At one point I was not even sure we would be blessed with Caroline let alone be able to give her a sibling.  As I noted before in an earlier post, last year we were so excited to learn that after years of trying we found out we were expecting...finally.  On this day last year, I found myself getting the worst news any expecting woman could hear "Mrs. Knight, I am so sorry but your fetus no longer has a heartbeat..."  I went from shock, to numb to not having time to process, to waking up in the surgical center hours later recovering from an emergency D&C.  I remember seeing the face of a mutual friend who was a nurse, and the look in her eye is what hit me the most--that was it...I knew it was final and I had to accept what had just taken place.  Luckily we had the holidays to keep me busy and occupied and a fiesty soon-to-be 4yr old that didn't allow for me to be sad.   

Fast forward exactly one year - to the day- and I am pleased to report I have just entered my third trimester with a healthy baby girl.  She is active and getting big and well...did I say active?  I heard that sweet heartbeat just the other day with my fabulous doctor congratulating me on this joyous occasion.  It is amazing how life can change in just 365 days.  It is amazing to think how long that time can be, yet it really isn't.  I cannot believe the irony of the "exact day...one year apart" timing of it all.  And while I was scared to death that the anniversary would be sad, I had a calming reassurance hit me (at 4am this morning) that I need not dwell and all is well-- yep, my God is a poet and a sick rhyme master. :)


I am all for "signs" and believe in them so strongly.  I know everything happens for a reason--whether we like it or not- and I am glad I just turned it over and realized I am not in control of things.  I take this "anniversary" as another sign...a welcomed sign...one that I am ever so grateful for.

Toodles!